its that time

its time to stop the procrastination and get to it... gotta get it all in line and exicute.. hopefully i'll succeed... past couple of weeks have been crazy for me just realizing myself and who I am and why. Almost feels like i need a revamp on myself. I've decided to just hide and just watch from the window. I've spent too many year doing the things i find fun when I shouldhave been focusing on myself. yup thats right i'm going MIA. times 10. I dont want to do anything anymore. just work school and work. its time to get it!

Changes

"Why is she like that?
why does she say that?
why does she do that?
who does she think she is?
I dont get her
Shes not bettter than anyone
Maybe she wants to be cool?
Maybe she thinks its funny?
Why would she say that?
Cant she be nicer?
Was that intentional?
What did she mean by that?
Does she think before she talks?
Its her age
its her upbringing
its her sisters
its her friends
its not ok
its not right
shes wrong
shes wrong
she has no room to talk
i hope that was a joke
shes not funny
she offends people
She should learn to be nicer
she should learn some communication skills
she should learn to be more sensitive
she should step down a knotch
she laughs at the wrong things
she should be quiet sometimes
she should think before she speaks
shes immature
she needs a reality check
someone needs to knock her down a knotch"

UPDATE!

Where do I start?!?!

I dropped off my handsome this morning he is catching a flight out to work in chi-town. I miss him already :( It still a mystery to me how I ever was happy without him. Corny as it is to say. Our relationship has not stopped being cliche and I'm happy for it. Lately I've been feeling down just out of it and stressed but I've tried to keep my head up through it all but I swear. ANY minute now I could burst into tears the kind that after i ball my eyes out i'll feel like a milliion dollars hahahaha. WHO KNOWS... when that will happen. I've been working out alot! lately I love it i love the strength I'm gaining and the cuts that are starting to form on my arms. Whats next? diet and more exercise i'm looking for a second job right now. Lifes money reality is kicking my ass right now!!

I've been looking for a everyday makeup and I think i've found it. I love love love my milk of magnesia! I am head over heels with it. I have the greasiest face in the world and I CANNOT rant enough about this. I have yet to find a oil control spray,. lotion, moisturizer...ect this is real deal the best thing for my face i just put it under I went to vegas and NOTHING came off. or move don my face and I put ALOT of makeup on. (gotta hide them acne scars)!

I have the ip4 and thank you for front facing camera. I've always been super paranoid to bring a mirror in my purse or bag since i'm afraid to break it. So this front facing camera is magic to my life right now and forever. I've facetimed alot lately morning and night with my beloved its great i like it alot I can see him smile :).. On another note my acne has gone out of freaking control so I've been on my julep ritual for a minute! it helps alot I just have to do it everyday until they are gone. I usually do it before i wash my face and while i'm playing C.O.D. which by the way has been super furstrating some days i'm good some days i'm screaming my life out. I cant really help it i've always been WAYYYY to competitive and high strung. Video games really doesnt help me as a person but neither does salt.. but i so it all anyways.

here are some pictures of the past time i've been mia.

ps: I need some qt with my qt lol HEEEEYOOOOOOOP