what would you do if everything you wrote people knew.. would you than watch what you say? are you blunt? are you rude? or you inconsiderate? take your pick.... everyone is all of that and more its part of being you and having opinions... I'm not exempt from this either. I do it everda. I remember when I was younger and I kept to myself.. i remember myself BEFORE i found my loud and outspoken ways. I was skinny short small and shy but I was bullied ALL the time for my accent my things and just being me. I learned to stand up for myself and not give anyone a voice since no one ever had ANYTHING nice to say about me. some people would say its a wall... a wall of incecurity.. I call it comfort and strength. What people throw at my wall I can rebuild it but I cant keep my heart from bleeding therefor I don tlet anyone touch whats not repairable. Just like glass once shattered it can be fixed but the cracks will always be there.

I really need to stop watching korean drama, but than again a girl can dream right? one day... one day I'll find someone who knows what they have and is actually afraid to lose it. I've never thoguht of myself of being cliche but my love life has really proven me wrong. I am cliche i'm a hopeless romantic I wil do it all to make it happen. Maybe thats my flaw I let them run over me and tear my heart apart into pieces and than I spend the time to pick up the pieces and move on. I never prosecute the people for what they do.. I think I know why now.. because I always cant help to think that its my fault. What should have happened and how I could have fixed it, I'm trying to learn that i'm better than that. That i'm actually a really good person and that I deserve someone who doesnt judge me and understands that being selfish in a relationship isnt about being "selfish" its about protecting the one you love because they are the person who make you happy so they should protect them no matter what because for that moment they are the happiness in your life its not always that simple hapiness in a person happens hold on to them they are a gem.

I'm trying not to be the bitter girl but its getting harder and harder not to be. especially when you have your mom constantly on you about your life you and why you suck at it and she actually MAKES sense! figure that right? ahha just kidding my mom is always right even when i dont want her to be. hahaha

Everyone had different morals...

-"Decision is a sharp knife that cuts clean and straight; indecision, a dull one that hacks and tears and leaves ragged edges behind it"


- "The assumption that seeing is believing makes us susceptible to visual deceptions"

Lifes a bitch and than you die

In the words of my Nas "Lifes a bitch and than you die"

live everyday as if its your last.... would I be working? probably not but I cant help it I dont find that quote realistic. Which brings me to being a realist and/or a dreamer... I love to day dream and I sure as hell can dream up a wonderful one.. you know the ones that get you smiling on your own by yourself like a wierdo yea one of those. hahaha but than I drop back to earth... BUT i really dont mind it.. I have learned a LONG time ago that deceit it right around the corner to scare and knock you off your horse when you least expect it. So i've learned to walk no matter how exciting the other ends looks never run its too risky you risk falling and skidding the ground with your face haaha...

Nothing is better than getting what you work for.. and truthfully i havent felt more fullfilled than ever I'm doing alot and I may be walking slowly to the exit of financial issue but at least i'm moving right? hahahaha either way I couldnt find anything more fullfilling than what i'm doing right now.. I know in the end I will be 10 times the person I was a year ago... I have a plan for everything EVERYTHING... from how I will wakeup to how I will go to sleep.. I priortise everything... it is probably why the last year has been so hard for me just not being in control of my finances and my life things were just hitting me from all directions and I couldnt stretch far enough to catch it all... but now i'm okay and there is finally light at the end of the tunnel... Jo is finally happy :)(financially)

I've been losing an incredible amount of weight I'm not sure if its the lack of eating or the lack or sleep or all of the walking i do at work 8 hours 5-6 days out of the week... who knows but I like it :) lets get it! i really need to lay off the cod after work.. I always cheat myself from 2 extra hours of sleep crazy being that i only have max of 6 hours of sleep to get in per day... I can feel myself aging so quickly its crazy shwayzeeee up in this mess hahaha but I wouldnt have it any other way...

"The secret to happiness is not in doing what one likes to do, but in liking what one has to do."

"While we pursue happiness, we flee from contentment"

"Relationships are alot like jumping off a building... it only hurts at the end"

"Happiness trully is stability and control" for me that is.


GOD! i've been itchin to drive.. I've had such an itch to touch a car its been soooooo crazy.. I miss drifting.. i miss squeeling tires I miss the adrenilin I miss it all!! i need to get on the road and I need to get on it real quick! just need suspension turbo cosmetic my car is fine...if not my car than the celice either way I hope to be back on the track by next summer. :)

Yea Random

Everyone has different morals good or bad. I for one have always been confident enough to know that I am strong well round opinionated person. In my meaning I can give it and I can take it. I will work for it and succeed in it. All I expect from people is to give me something interesting to live for. I dont consider myself to be someone who is closed off i'm actually really open when it comes to people... am I judgemental? yes who isnt.. hahah... I have a great understanding of myself the people around me and part of living is learning.. my mom says its a bad thing she says i'm a risk taker and not everyone likes that but not a day do I go regretting anything that has happened to me. I take everything and I learn from it.

Its funny how songs sometimes will speak for you I absolutely love it.. makes me feel that i'm not the only one going through it.. since i'm not worlds best at expressing feelings its nice to listen to someone else tell me the issues and for me to me able to say yes.. thats me.

Everyone hopes to get that caring, loving, wonderful, beautiful, humorous, smart person in their life, hands down those things are what majority want.. imagin that! yea than you get it but unfortunately those arent the only characteristics the person has they also are argumentative because they are smart they want love back because they are caring... than all of a sudden its too much? than what do you call yourself? picky? Is love really something you have to compromise with? something you have to give and take. Is there a perfect person? the sweetheart with the kindest heart could be the bum on the side will you take her in? I mean she does have the qualities you want but the only thing is shes broke... will you bathe and love her? of course not people are shallow like it or not you are shallow. People go forever searcing for the love of their lives and when they find it they put it on a pedastool and stare at it,but when the person starts to get tired and slouch do you tell her to keep standing straight up no matter how tired she is OR do you massage her and help you get back energy so she can go back to being the perfect person?

as I have lived my life my motto still stands.

Life is a like a burger its fine without the condimens but its perfect with the condimens take those away and its just plain again nothing more nothing less... live on your fine :)