what would you do if everything you wrote people knew.. would you than watch what you say? are you blunt? are you rude? or you inconsiderate? take your pick.... everyone is all of that and more its part of being you and having opinions... I'm not exempt from this either. I do it everda. I remember when I was younger and I kept to myself.. i remember myself BEFORE i found my loud and outspoken ways. I was skinny short small and shy but I was bullied ALL the time for my accent my things and just being me. I learned to stand up for myself and not give anyone a voice since no one ever had ANYTHING nice to say about me. some people would say its a wall... a wall of incecurity.. I call it comfort and strength. What people throw at my wall I can rebuild it but I cant keep my heart from bleeding therefor I don tlet anyone touch whats not repairable. Just like glass once shattered it can be fixed but the cracks will always be there.

I really need to stop watching korean drama, but than again a girl can dream right? one day... one day I'll find someone who knows what they have and is actually afraid to lose it. I've never thoguht of myself of being cliche but my love life has really proven me wrong. I am cliche i'm a hopeless romantic I wil do it all to make it happen. Maybe thats my flaw I let them run over me and tear my heart apart into pieces and than I spend the time to pick up the pieces and move on. I never prosecute the people for what they do.. I think I know why now.. because I always cant help to think that its my fault. What should have happened and how I could have fixed it, I'm trying to learn that i'm better than that. That i'm actually a really good person and that I deserve someone who doesnt judge me and understands that being selfish in a relationship isnt about being "selfish" its about protecting the one you love because they are the person who make you happy so they should protect them no matter what because for that moment they are the happiness in your life its not always that simple hapiness in a person happens hold on to them they are a gem.

I'm trying not to be the bitter girl but its getting harder and harder not to be. especially when you have your mom constantly on you about your life you and why you suck at it and she actually MAKES sense! figure that right? ahha just kidding my mom is always right even when i dont want her to be. hahaha